Went to the Excalibur and took nefarious pictures with Sponge Bob where he appears to be looking at my bosom. Then on to New York New York for a $14 roller coaster ride that lasted all of five minutes. Tried to buy frozen daiquiris in a cowboy boot, but they were out. My friend Ahn Ei (ahn-eee) says drinks just taste better out of a boot. Dana adds a story about how rugby players drink beer out of their shoes. I silently thank God I never played rugby.
We tried to break into the pool. No luck. Went to a Mexican restaurant where they made guacamole table side that was so hot you could barely eat it. If you know me, you know that's saying something. I like it hot. Went back to room for a nap where I called the concierge to ask if they could open the pool for us. No luck. We tried to break in to Studio 54. No luck.
Let's blow this popsicle stand.
We head to Freemont Street where I decide Subway sounds good. Wanted to see the famous Vegas sign, only to find it's on the other end of the strip. Eric asks us to point out what a hooker looks like, but seems just as happy to find signs touting 99 cent shrimp cocktail and deep fried Twinkies.
We head to the Stratosphere, where the cabby tells us the about life in Vegas. He's from Holland. Eric calls it the Netheregions. Dana is always saying, "It's hotter than Dutch love." I ask the driver how hot Dutch love really is. He says something about a Dutch oven that I can't remember. The rides at the Stratosphere are closed, but we discover an all-you-can-drink happy hour we should definitely avoid.
The taxi driver on the way back to MGM Grand was hysterical. Eric asks him who has the best hamburgers. To Eric's delight (I think he might have started to cry), he replied In & Out Burger. The driver says McDonalds is the worst. He said you have two choices after eating there -- a gallon of Pepto or a roll of toilet paper.
Check out our video at In & Out Burger:
It's about 2:30 am when we get back to the hotel and into bed.
It's about 6:30 am when the alarm on my phone goes off.